Do unto others. A biblical phrase? One of many twists on the Golden Rule? Punch line for a bad joke? Three little words. Three-word phrases seem to cause mankind more than their share of problems. Yet if you look at these three words, you can find the solution to so many problems.
To us, “Do unto others” is a battle cry. A battle cry for peace, for comfort, for love. To do for others is central in our chosen professions, and when you think about it, it likely is in just about every job or task. To medical professionals, others are the reason they have a job. We would not get very far in life, professionally or personally, if our only patients are ourselves. Same can be said for educators, service workers, transportation professionals, retail employees, wholesale servicers, and entertainers. And don’t forget parents and grandparents, foster parents and stepparents, guardians and caregivers.
We could keep going, but you get the idea. Life isn’t life lived alone. What kind of life you live depends on what and how you do unto others.
The idea that we live our lives for others is so evident to us now as most of the world gets ready for one of the many religious and secular holidays celebrated in December. (As diverse as they are, we can’t think of any of the world religions that hold selfishness as one of its tenets.) There is hardly a day in the month when we aren’t thinking of somebody else or doing something for somebody else.
Yes, that means buying and wrapping presents for friends and planning big family dinners. But it also means placing anonymous gifts under a church’s angel tree, spending time on the sofa watching a favorite holiday movie with a child or grandchild, dropping a dollar or two into a Santa’s bucket outside the grocery store, or remembering to add an extra note in the card to your friend who lost a loved one this year.
Our hearts indeed grow larger, maybe three sizes larger, this time of year, even those of us who don’t start out to be Grinches.
There is no seasonal restriction to encouraging others, wishing them better moments, or spending time doing nothing in particular. Is it not possible we could continue to donate to worthy causes, plan a couch-sitting, movie-watching evening with someone, or show love to our friends even in, maybe June?
Our capacity to do is not diminished in months not called December. Our desire to do might be. January we are “recovering” from the holidays. February is too cold, March is too windy, April we need to get the lawn and garden started, May is a possibility but by the time we think about what to do, it becomes June. June and July are vacation, planning then execution. August we get ready for school and it’s too hot anyway. September we clean up the yard and garden. October we plan for Halloween. November we spend getting ready for the early Christmas sales. See, we’re legitimately busy all year long.
Mother Angelica (born Rita Antoinette Rizzo) of the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration convent, best known for the television show Mother Angelica Live, said, “You know, there ought to be a prize today for people who make excuses – because I think we’d all win something. … We come up with the all the fantastic reasons why we don’t have to be good; to show that extra bit of compassion or that extra bit of love, to do that extra bit of work.”
This year after the crush of the holidays lessens, don’t let your heart shrink to two sizes too small. Keep the spirit going. In January remember the others recovering with you and have a no pressure, no gifts required, no fancy tablecloth potluck dinner. February let your heart grow again and celebrate Valentine’s Day with at least one person who epitomizes each of the Seven Loves. In March you can buy some dollar store kites and have a wind party.
See, it is just as easy to find a reason to do something for someone as it is to find an excuse not to.
Stop looking for excuses and start living life and do unto others. We would say to do unto them as you’d have them do unto you, instead we say maybe set your sights a little higher and make up for all those excuses you used last year.
What a beautiful sentiment--do unto others. I love your insight--life isn't lived alone but with others. And doing unto others determines how we live every day. It's always a surprise to me when people seem so kind during December but January rolls around and Grinchiness comes back in fashion, people feel compelled to make resolutions and break them all in one month. What surprises me is that people don't recognize their own need often enough to see that others need the same thing as they do. Thanks for this delightful reminder of what counts.