While doing some internet research, Michael came across the word JOMO. We admit that was a new one for us. Most of us would recognize FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Mojo as in a magic power is also up there as fairly recognizable. (And something many of us might even claim to have!) But JOMO, that had us scratching our heads.
According to Dictionary.com. JOMO is the Joy Of Missing Out, defining it as "a feeling of contentment with one's own pursuits and activities, without worrying over the possibility of missing out on what others may be doing.”
In Psychology Today, Christine Fuller, MD calls JOMO the "emotionally intelligent antidote to FOMO,” and subtitles her article with that very phrase. She goes on to say, "JOMO allows us to live life in the slow lane, to appreciate human connections, to be intentional with our time, to practice saying “no,” to give ourselves “tech-free breaks,” and to give us permission to acknowledge where we are and to feel emotions, whether they are positive or negative." ("JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out," July 26, 2018) That sounds very positive. We wonder why she didn't lead with that instead of that FOMO antidote business.
You don't have to have feared something to enjoy a human connection, to be intentional with your time, or to feel an emotion. We all would love to experience additional human connections, but we don’t think many of us would describe ourselves as unhappy if we don’t add new connections on some regular basis. We don’t, and we don’t feel afraid that we are missing something.
“A feeling of contentment with one's own pursuits and activities, without worrying over the possibility of missing out on what others may be doing.” We used to call that being comfortable in your own skin. The company and connection with others is an uplifting experience but it starts with enjoying the company and connection with yourself. Having the time to actually do something is nice but not necessary for joy. Happiness? Perhaps. Joy? No. Joy is limitless, and like love, intentional. You don’t find joy in the absence of something. It is not found at all. It is immersive, it is felt, it is experienced. Joy is not in the absence of anything but in the presence of something. Something not easily defined but obvious when experienced.
In an earlier post, we said people make their own definitions of happiness and joy. Happiness is almost always reliant on something. “I’m happy I got that promotion.” Joy comes from within. We may be happy about the promotion, we likely also are joyful that someone knew us, liked us, and respected us enough to know we are capable of the extra responsibility. Happiness is the immense gratitude of something good life brought about. Joy is knowing something wonderful is happening.
No, we are not joyful because we are not missing out on some part of life. We are joyful because we are taking part in it!
This is one of your best yet--and I know I might say that way too often. What I like about JOMO--and, no, I'd never heard it before--is how you see it--not missing out on something but choosing to immerse in something that matters personally. Living in our skin isn't something we're encouraged to do much--we want to be what we we design ourselves to look like for others. Which means we don't find true joy in our own company. I loved: "Joy is limitless, and like love, intentional. You don't find joy in the absence of something. It is not found at all. It is immersive, it is felt, it is experienced. Joy is not in the absence of anything…