The day after Election Day in the U.S. is probably a good time to talk about healing. No matter who won and lost, there will continue to be anxiety and divisiveness, and people will look to others for hope and healing. They will be looking in the wrong places.
True healing comes from within. We previously quoted Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous words, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” There is a corollary to that. No one can make you feel whole without your participation. Vietnamese Thiền Buddhist monk, Thích Nhất Hạnh tells us, "Every step taken in mindfulness brings us one step closer to healing ourselves and the planet."
We, as in we two, and we, the collective we, speak often of mindfulness while rarely defining it. To us, mindfulness is the ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we are doing. Whether we are talking about love, worth, confidence, or healing, you must first feel good about yourself, then you can take on the world’s effect on you. Not the world. Just the way you react to the world.
Healing may be the most difficult process of the self-help cohorts for to heal yourself you must admit to yourself that you have wronged yourself. Admitting error to others is hard, but admitting error to self is much harder. It is natural that we don’t want to acknowledge that we are incorrect or mistaken, particularly to ourselves. It would seem to undercut our path to self-confidence.
In truth, a confident self is willing to accept responsibility for one’s thoughts and actions, learn from them and improve, increasing self-confidence and laying the foundation for self-healing. When we become comfortable with being the imperfect being that we are, then we can heal.
When we suffer a scrape or cut, a burn or abrasion, our bodies heal themselves. When we suffer a disconnect from positive feelings and emotions, we likewise heal ourselves.
A word of caution: Some physical injuries are too severe for our bodies to repair themselves and require the attention of healthcare professionals. If you are suffering significant emotional or psychological distress, please consult a mental health professional to help with your healing process.
Shari B. Kaplan, LCSW, clinical social worker and founder of the Can’t Tell Foundation supporting those affected by trauma and mental health challenges says, “There is a natural intelligence in our body that will bring our body back to what is called homeostasis. In the context of mental health, it's about aligning with our true self—the compassionate, courageous, curious, creative part of us that has many strengths to overcome challenges, process emotions, and foster psychological resilience.”
Continuing the physical/mental comparisons, self-help requires active participation. Your body becomes stronger when you rest, eat right, and exercise. Your emotional health improves when you decrease stress, add quiet time for prayer, reflection or meditation to your daily routine, and set and maintain boundaries.
Self-healing not only can be demonstrated to affect both physical and emotional health, it also can be a connection between emotional and physical health. A 2022 Taiwanese study* published in Gerontology and Geriatric Medicine reported that as the average worldwide lifespan has increased, so has the average number of years spent in poor health. The researchers investigated the impact self-healing in older adults has on an individual’s mental health. They concluded psychological aspects such as cheerfulness, positive attitudes, and good interpersonal relationships can help control chronic diseases, and that self-healing promotes healthy lifestyles and positive emotional states.
How does all this help restore comfort, reduce the anxiety of the moment, and lessen the divisions between people from something involving an entire population like a brutal national campaign or the post-election drama likely to come? It won’t. As we have said in so many posts addressing many facets of life, you cannot control anyone but yourself, and you are not responsible for anyone’s actions but yours. You simply cannot help all the people; you cannot change even your closest circle of contacts.
Whether faced with national emotional trauma or individual feelings of loneliness, you can change the way you approach the drama and present to those closest to you a complete, calm, and accepting you. And you can be the encouragement to others to do likewise.
*Kuei-Hui Chu, Heng-Hsin Tung, Daniel L Clinciu, et al, A Preliminary Study on Self-Healing and Self-Health Management in Older Adults: Perspectives From Healthcare Professionals and Older Adults in Taiwan, Gerontol Geriatr Med. 2022 Mar 24.
I think we fool ourselves when we ignore the mind/body connection, ignoring that our mental health greatly influences our physical well being. Too often we convince ourselves of our personal ineptness when we focus on the drama around us and, as you pointed out, don't have personal boundaries that keep them from owning others problems or just the challenges of a world that's broken. Being calm and accepting of ourselves is an ongoing process that we can't ignore. Part of that also has to do with the fact that we don't know ourselves well enough to even know what we need, heart, mind, and soul.