We are three weeks into the new year, and many are already checking out. Resolutions, even some of the well-meaning type, are already forgotten. Grand plans for this year’s goals are already being revised to more easily accomplished objectives. What is worse, we are now deep into the 21st century and other than more complex cell phones, there is not much improved in our daily lives, not very much is truly new.
It is a malaise time of year, in what is shaking up to be a malaise epoch. Inevitable?
Of course we’re going to say, no, it is not inevitable. That’s who we are and what we do. We defy the inevitable through enthusiastic living and sharing lives worth loving. But then we think, maybe it is inevitable that we will hit those dry spells even in the most enthusiastic periods of life.
There is a period of uneasiness that strikes almost every momentous occasion, regardless of its momentous-ness. It is the “the honeymoon is over” period, a phrase aptly coined to recognize that time of adjustment when new couples recognize that the party of the wedding is over, and the business of marriage and their life together begins.
You can find a time when all our exciting milestones lose that brand new, never used sheen that added to making the milestone the momentous occasion that it was – and still is, just now a little broken in. And with it, a break in what you thought would be your newer and better life.
That queasy feeling that now you must prove you deserved that promotion.
The realization that you really need to find your place in the world after graduation.
The boredom that sets in after years of “having a purpose in life” now that you are retired.
The first utility bill that goes with your first new house or apartment
The fear that your child will walk out of your life now that they took their first step
And that is exactly what they are. Simply breaks. If you hadn’t received the promotion, you couldn’t wonder if you can do better and that is what drives you to do better.
Each feeling of wonder of how that happened, or do I really deserve this, or can I really do this, is also a feeling of wonder of what new things are possible, how much more I can achieve, what else I can learn. Instead of the negativity in the questions you see the excitement in what can be.
How much more you know that you can contribute to your company.
How well you fit in the “real world” as you begin to use your education.
How much time you have to do what you want, when you want, where you want.
How satisfying it is to drive up to that house or apartment that you turned into a home.
How joyful it is to see your children grow into healthy, independent individuals.
A variety of studies, including polls conducted by the Nielson and Gallup organizations, suggest happiness generally tends to decline as people age from their late teens into their fifties, and then generally tends to increase as they age beyond their 50s. There are several theories for this including economic (the young adult faces more financial challenges than middle-agers who begin to plan for retirement and life after work) to psychological (young adults find futility in achieving their unrealistic “high hopes” while middle agers settle into a “live the life that was given” approach).
We do not believe people must live 30 unhappy years at the beginning of their adult lives. We see life increasing in happiness as we age and grow from our very youngest selves when we recognize those low moments are not overwhelming deterrents to unhappiness but minor breaks that offer us opportunities to improve and maximize our potential for a happy and contented life.
You may be wondering how realistic that resolution may be, is it time to push for that promotion, or even how achievable is this year’s vacation plan, knowing at some time this year you will need to alter a plan or consider an alternate journey. Don’t look at these as moments when you lament that “the honeymoon is over.” Rather, think of them as ushering in the time when you get to declare “the best is yet to come!”
Comments