Days are growing longer. Temperatures are inching up. Spring is on its way. Even as we hope you continue to make your daily resolutions, we think now is a great time to consider some of those year long promises you make to yourself. And may we suggest putting “become one of The Hi Guys” high on that list.
The Hi Guys are those who nod a “hello” to a perfect stranger one meets walking down the road, crossing a lobby, waiting for an elevator, or standing in front of or behind in a long, slow line. It’s more than just a nod. It’s a recognition that says “Hey, you too are human, and we are all part of a team. I recognize your contribution even if I don’t know you and might never see you again.” Sometimes that’s hard to do. It’s easy to give that little finger wave over the steering wheel when you see a neighbor taking the dog for a walk along your own street on your way to work in the morning. But to acknowledge a total stranger, to show value to someone you’ve never spoken to or seen before is quite another.
When a baby smiles at someone and makes that baby gurgle that only babies can make, everybody smiles back. If a baby can make a total stranger smile and feel good for a second or two, you can do it also.
We have all had a baby smile at us and know that feel good feeling. A quite different interaction occurred not long ago to Michael as he was approaching the entrance to a medical building. He was just about an arm’s length away from the automatic door when it swung open and a couple exited, he pushing she in a wheelchair. As they passed Michael while he stood off to the side to give them room, Michael nodded and mumbled a “h’lo” (the local equivalent of hello). The lady in the wheelchair looked up and said back, “Thanks.” Not that unusual. And then she smiled and said, “I hope you have a good appointment, too.” She understood. She was one of The Hi Guys.
We’ve written before about the circle of friends. We should say circles of friends. Everyone from loved ones to acquaintances spanning the breadth of our interests fitting neatly into 5 categories, based on British anthropologist Robin Dunbar magic number, 150, as in, we can handle up to 150 meaningful contacts, or in another word, friends, from his 2010 publication, “How many friends does one person need?” We concluded:
The tightest, inner circle is made of our “loved ones” and that is limited to 5 contacts. The next tightest group are our closest friends, or as [Dunbar] described them, “good friends,” and people can handle 15 good friends. In the next of our circles are our “friends” and these number 50. In the penultimate ring are those 150 “meaningful contacts,”, and then on the outermost ring of our circle are 500 “acquaintances.” Beyond the circle of acquaintances Dunbar also recognizes that we each also can recognize 1500 people.
As simple “Hi guy” will certainly add to the 1500 recognizable faces. If you should happen to see the same person at the same elevator often enough, the recipient of your greeting may someday move into the circle of 500 and may even vie for space in the ring of 150.
It is unlikely that Michael’s brief encounter with the lady in the wheelchair is going to move either of them very deep into their respective circles of friends, but they now may have an additional face among the 1500 who sit beyond the circle of acquaintances. If their appointments overlap often enough, the ring of 500 may be due for an update. All because someone took the step to become a Hi Guy.
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