Unless yours came in these first two weeks, sometime this year you will celebrate a birthday. The day you became part of this team, joined this club, came to the game. Unlike many groups and organization, parties and event, there was no initiation fee to this one, no admission price, no ongoing dues payments, You put into life only what you want to. And get out of it, only what it wants to give.
We have been wondering why some people do so well with life while others seem to be constantly at odds with their teammates. After long consideration we came up with what the human race has known since humans were first racing about. Or if not had known, certainly had strongly suspected.
Those who get the most from life, value life the most.
It’s a matter of empathy, a blurring of the lines between you and me. We open ourselves to thoughts and feelings, expressing concern, wanting to help, wanting to belong. But although you cannot put a price on interpersonal connections, there is a cost to it. And this is why some people can, and others cannot be good playmates in the game of life.
The cost of being human is exposing ourselves to others. It is not a coincidence that those willing to open to others seem to have others more willing to open themselves and share with the willing few. Their human connections are paid for with their interest in others. Their compassion, their capacity for understanding, and their moral agency are the currency they use to gain admission to their world, the dues they pay to belong to their private club of friends and confidants.
These people know not only the cost of being a human. They also recognize the value in being human, in sharing, in living a loving life. All life. All forms. No exceptions. Aristotle believed people were of value when they are good to themselves and thus can lead a good life. Without claiming we know better than the famous philosopher, we think a little differently. Or perhaps not differently but that there is still more to it. We believe people are of value when they are good to themselves and others, and that you don’t lead a good life. A good life is available, and if you share enough of you, if you make yourself available enough, a good life will lead you to it.
We recognize the hardest thing we can ask ourselves to do is to share ourselves. Admittedly, it is scary to open oneself so others to others, knowing their weaknesses will be on display for all to see. But so will their strengths. Your strengths. As will be your dreams, your goals, your challenges, and your successes.
Many are afraid to share themselves because they associate sharing with the internet version of sharing on social media, where only the perfect examples make it to the image roll, and the content is skewed for a particular audience. It’s a way of saying “This is me. What do you think?”
Sharing goes back a long time before social media was even a glimmer in some future tech mogul’s electronic eye. Opening your private self to people who are close to you, and to the people you want close to you, allows you to say “This is me. I’m okay with that.”
This year, when your birthday comes around, give your team the presents. Give them a piece of you. Share with them your dreams for next year, and how they are already a part of them. Show them how live with them, love with them, share with them.
This is an amazing post. The reality of valiantly sharing oneself with others is not only a challenge but risky--not everyone is safe. Your challenge to live vulnerably is a big one--and yet you two do that in this space quite nicely. Have you ever considered that part of the problem of sharing yourself honestly is that many people don't really know who they are? That their social media profile is how others identify them and how they've begun to identify themselves? I think when you speak of sharing yourself, it's with those people that you can also discover yourself. I so enjoy you two!